Rabbi Taragin urges readers to master self-control through visual discipline

Rabbi Reuven Taragin, dean of overseas students at Yeshivat Hakotel and educational director of World Mizrachi, published an essay today arguing that self-control is the defining mark of true strength. Taragin, who is also the author of the new book Essentials of Judaism, states that mastering one's own impulses is more difficult and more important than controlling external circumstances. He notes that the mishna in Avot identifies the person who governs themselves as the true gibbor, or strong one.

The essay traces the concept of self-control back to the Torah. Taragin cites the instruction given to Kayin in Bereishis 4:7, where Hashem told him that while sin lies at the doorway, the individual retains the ability to control it. This principle, Taragin explains, is a prerequisite for avodat Hashem. The midrash in Eliyahu Rabbah 10:3 distinguishes between a tzaddik and a rasha based on this dynamic: the rasha is governed by his heart, while the tzaddik governs his heart.

Taragin uses the story of Yosef HaTzaddik to illustrate the value of thinking long term. When faced with the persistent advances of Potiphera’s wife, Yosef remained steadfast. The Gemara in Sotah 36b recounts that at the moment of temptation, Yosef saw his father Yaakov’s image in a window. This vision prompted Yosef to consider the long-term consequences of his actions, specifically that his name would be inscribed on the stones of the ephod only if he remained faithful. Taragin advises readers to reflect on enduring consequences rather than yielding to immediate, fleeting pleasures.

The essay also addresses the distinction between impulsive desire and genuine will. Taragin points to the laws in Devarim 21:10-14 concerning a woman captured during war. The Torah uses the word v’chashakta to describe the initial lust, but chafatza to describe the deliberate decision to marry after a period of reflection. Taragin explains that this pause allows a person to determine if the desire aligns with true values and long-term goals, ensuring actions are guided by genuine will rather than impulsive longing.

A central strategy in Taragin's argument is the discipline of the eyes. He cites Bereishis 3:6, where Chava’s sin began with observing the tree, and Shmuel II 11:2, where Dovid HaMelech’s sin with Bat Sheva began when he saw her bathing. Taragin quotes Rashi, who explains that the heart and eyes are the spies for the body; the eye sees, the heart covets, and the body commits the sin. To counter this, the Torah provides tzitzit as a visual corrective to remind observers of their obligations.

Taragin notes that in contemporary society, the imperative to control the eyes has become more challenging due to the constant access provided by computers and cellphones. He cites the Yerushalmi in Bereishis 9a, where Hashem declares that if a person gives Him their heart and eyes, He knows they are His. The essay concludes with a petition from Tehillim 119:37, asking Hashem to turn the eyes away from vanity to sustain life.

The essay is dedicated to Taragin’s mother, Mrs. Susan Taragin. His new book, Essentials of Judaism, is available at rabbireuventaragin.com.